Retirement Gifts

A smashed alarm clock half buried in the sand, a hammock between the palms and the bat that did it. No more early mornings.

Great gift for retirees and anyone counting down to retirement.

Retirement plan: lake. Garage. Repeat. The only schedule he plans to keep.

Great gift for retirees, fishermen and garage guys.

Officially out of service. A rusty robot in a beach chair, toolbox closed for good.

Great gift for retirement parties and new retirees.

Retired. Every day is Saturday. Except Saturday. A calendar with no Mondays.

Great gift for retirees and retirement parties.

Your equipment is in better shape than your knees. You maintain the gear while the body handles the wear. Spend the day on the water and the night on the heating pad.

Great gift for the fisherman who makes more noise than his tackle.

You skip the couch and head for the boat instead. This is for the man who solves his problems with a casting reel. Silence is the only advice you need.

Great gift for the husband who spends every Saturday on the water.

A boat is the only companion that respects your bank account. You find your peace where the cell service drops off and the tide comes in. Some things in life are worth the maintenance costs.

Great gift for the husband who would rather be on the lake.

Still here, barely. The man who has done enough to earn a low battery. He keeps showing up because that is what he does.

Great gift for dads nearing retirement or anyone who has been on the job since the battery was full.

Hiking at a reasonable speed. The guy who sees no reason to rush a walk in the woods. Speed is for people who don't like where they are.

Great gift for slow hikers, retirees, and dads who value the view over the finish line.

Still works, just slower. The guy who has outlived his original factory warranty. He gets there when he gets there.

Great gift for aging dads, retirees, and the guy who refuses to be rushed.

Still functional-ish. The guy who has survived decades of bad wiring and questionable decisions. He might be sparking at the edges but the main breaker hasn't tripped yet.

Great gift for handymen, retirees, and dads who have been through the ringer but still get the job done.