Funny Dad T-Shirts

My references are the three families who have my number and one who has my address. The man who doesn't need a resume because everyone already knows who to call. Reliable. Local. Hard to find online.

Great gift for the neighborhood handyman, the guy who knows everyone, and dads who prefer word-of-mouth over a LinkedIn profile.

They search. I answer. The man who knows the solution before the browser even loads. Everyone else relies on an algorithm while you rely on thirty years of experience.

Great gift for dads who are the family help desk and handymen who know the answer before the question is finished.

Looked it up. Called me anyway. The man who is the final authority on how things actually work. They found the instructions online but still need you to tell them what to do.

Great gift for dads, handymen, and the guy who is the first call whenever something breaks.

Ask me and I will tell you the part YouTube leaves out. The guy who has actually done the job and knows why the bolt always snaps. Experience is what happens when the video tutorial fails and you have to use your head.

Great gift for handymen, DIY dads, and guys who spend their weekends in the garage fixing what the internet couldn't.

It is probably the breaker. The guy who identifies the electrical fault before he even puts down his coffee. A shirt for the man who knows exactly which switch in the basement is acting up again.

Great gift for handymen, DIY dads, and guys who spend their weekends fixing what the kids broke.

Not on call. Never stops getting calls. The guy everyone calls when something breaks at 9pm. Everyone has his number and everyone knows he will answer.

Great gift for infrastructure dads, handymen, and the guy who can't finish a meal without the phone ringing.

You slept fine. I know why. The guy who stares at a blue screen until 2:17 AM and wonders why the morning is so loud. It is not the mattress.

Great gift for night owls, tech guys, and anyone who stays up too late staring at a screen.

Available unfortunately. The man who answers the phone because he is the only one who knows where the shut-off valve is. He would prefer to be unreachable.

Great gift for dads who value their privacy and anyone who answers the phone with a sigh.

The original author is on LinkedIn now. The guy who inherits the legacy mess while the person who built it moves into management. Someone has to keep the old systems running.

Great gift for software developers, IT managers, and anyone stuck maintaining what someone else started.

Nothing is on fire. You're welcome. The man who maintains the infrastructure so the rest of the world can ignore it. He is the reason the lights are green and the panic is absent.

Great gift for IT professionals, sysadmins, and infrastructure dads who keep things running behind the scenes.

Broken when I arrived. Not anymore. The guy who sees the error in the logic before the machine even finishes the boot sequence. He fixes the mess and doesn't ask for credit.

Great gift for programmers, developers, and dads who spend their time fixing what other people broke.